It occurs to me: I say this site is ruining my life and I just want it to stop and go away. But then I go on national television informing a whole new audience about the site. That brings, literally, 33,000 new visitors to the site in one day. Doesn’t that seem to defeat my purpose?
One thing I can tell you about myself is I love playing the victim, love having people feel sorry for me. Clearly, all this media attention isn’t helping my stated goal of making this website go away – but it’s sure as hell getting me a lot of sympathy.
If I thought it was difficult to get a job before this, well, I can guarantee it’ll be a lot harder now. I find it unlikely that any employer is going to look at this site then say “Hey, you poor thing. Let me give you a job. I don’t mind if you come to work high. I don’t mind that your name and face are all over the Internet.” Not likely.
Before today, my shame was only published on this website and only a small number of people new about it – now it’s on national television and a slew of other websites, and many thousands of people know about it.
This is, of course, a common theme for me. Do whatever seems right at the moment without ever considering how it will affect me as far as five minutes into the future.
Good job, Desiree! Thanks for all the free advertising and helping to bring exponentially more people to the very website I was supposedly trying to get removed. God, I’m an idiot!
For all potential employers out there, that is the kind of logic (or rather, lack of logic) you can expect when you hire me.