We’re going to break from the usual practice of writing in the first person, from the perspective of Desiree, for the purposes of this post. Mainly because it wouldn’t make much sense otherwise.
Recently, while looking through the access logs of our wonderful homage to Miss Capuano (that is, this website), I noticed a curious amount of hits originating from Green Valley Hospital. In particular, on September 30th, at 2:36pm, someone at Green Valley Hospital took about 45 minutes out of their day to review a significant amount of the content herein. They read some blog posts, spent a few minutes on the “Pictures” page looking at the collection of pictures of Desiree’s home, bedroom, bathroom, her medical marijuana card, her in bed…well, you get the idea.
I thought that a bit interesting, so just to be thorough, I hopped on Indeed.com and did a quick search of job postings for Green Valley Hospital. Sure enough, I found a posting for a Systems Analyst. Though, admittedly, from the description provided it sounds more like a Support Technician than a Systems Analyst.
My first assumption was that Desiree had applied for the position and the astute folks at Green Valley, in performing their due diligence, had happened across this site.
But then I noticed more activity from Green Valley Hospital, on October 6th, at 9:17am. This time they didn’t spend very long – just a few minutes. Loaded the home page, read the blog post Feedback From My Loving Friends and Fans, then called it a day. Nothing to warrant much consideration.
And then, just today, at 2:48pm, we see another visit from someone at Green Valley Hospital. Again, a short visit – mostly just read a few of the emails on the “Mail” page.
So all of this has got me thinking: Is our good friend, Desiree, hoping to get the Systems Analyst job at Green Valley Hospital in Green Valley, AZ? And would the fine people at Green Valley Hospital make an offer of employment to a self-proclaimed chronic drug user, like Desiree? If so, what does that tell you about Green Valley Hospital as an employer? Had they gone to the website one time then said “This bitch is a flake. We don’t want people like this working here.”, then never returned to the site that would have made sense. But the fact that they have returned to the site on numerous occasions would lead us to believe they actually are considering hiring Desiree. Either that or they’re getting a good laugh at the fact that someone (Desiree) can be so fucked up on drugs that they know this website exists, yet they do absolutely nothing affirmative to rectify the predicament.
Or, perhaps it’s purely coincidental that Green Valley Hospital is looking for a Systems Analyst and Desiree’s most recent job title was Systems Analyst (albeit, at Apollo Education Group, so her experience doesn’t count for much, and her degree is from University of Phoenix – so her education is essentially meaningless as well).
Perhaps someone who works at Green Valley Hospital just happened to see one of the Google ads I’ve been running, promoting this site and thought “What a complete, fucking idiot this Desiree is.”, and felt an overwhelming compulsion to use their employer’s resources to learn more about Miss Capuano.
One thing is for certain: Any company that would hire a person as a Systems Analyst, after having visited this site; after seeing the hard proof of Desiree’s chronic drug use, emotional and psychological instability, incredible narcissism, history of consistently making poor judgements; proof of her using drugs while at work and having sexual relations with multiple co-workers…well, that’s a company you probably don’t want to work for.