Highlights from My Order of Protection Hearing

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As some of you know, James and I recently attended a hearing against Patrick for the Order of Protection I got against him, and the Injunction Against Harassment James got against him.

I thought I’d share with you some of the highlights of that hearing – not just me recapping what was said, but the actual audio recording of the hearing.

The times listed amongst the content, below, are the time location within the respective recordings. For example, 2:29 means I’m talking about what happened 2 minutes and 29 seconds into the recording. Thought I’d mention that for you folks that are too stupid to figure it out on your own.

How I Convinced the Court to Issue an Order it Didn’t Have the Authority to Issue

Let’s start with the court acknowledging it didn’t have authority to issue the order of protection and my skillful manipulation to get the court to proceed anyway.

Notice how, when the judge first says she doesn’t have the authority to issue the order, I try to argue that the order of protection is only for me – not for our son and so the pending case in California doesn’t matter? Notice how I clearly and unequivocally state that the case in the Superior Court is pending (0:30 seconds)? As a point of fact, the child custody case in California has been pending since September 2011. For those who aren’t aware, in child custody matters a case remains in a “pending” status until the child turns 18. It doesn’t “become final” just because the parties come to an agreement without the court’s intervention. But check out what I say at 2:30 – I tell the judge that the California case has been “finalized” – that it is no longer pending. Can you believe that? And if that’s not enough, I boldly claim Patrick just recently “reopened” the case. Now, of course, I knew this was all complete bullshit because last year I tried to have the case moved to Arizona and the request was denied; and because in September 2015 I filed a request to have our son’s visitation suspended.

Now, listen carefully to the quivering in my voice at around 1:37, when I ask the court “How do I as an individual get protection from him then?” Tell me I don’t sound 100% sincerely afraid for my safety! Damn, I’m good!

And check me out at 2:45 – I’m on the brink of tears! Or at least that’s how I played it. Usually, if I cry in court the judge feels sorry for me and cuts me slack. You can be sure I’ll be crying at the custody hearing in California next week.

Now, check this out:

Didn’t even have to drop a single tear! Just looking like maybe I might cry was enough to get that judge to completely disregard the very laws she was sworn to uphold. God, I love Arizona!

Of course, the order is going to be over turned on appeal. Just like the court said: it simply didn’t have the authority to issue the order.

My Greatest Performance Ever

Here I am telling the court what I’m requesting, and that Patrick is obsessed with me. Nothing amazing, but I love the sound of my voice so listen to it!

Now, here’s the kicker: My primary testimony. Let’s give this a listen then we’ll clarify which parts are actually true. Keep in mind, even though I claim, under oath, that I have “documentation”, including emails, I don’t actually provide a single piece of evidence to support ANY of my claims. Let’s listen…

Can you believe that? I say Patrick has told our child that “if the risk of jail time were not there that he’d SHOOT me” (0:16). Ha! What a hoot! And not only that, he’d “physically” shoot me (0:23). [editor’s note: As opposed to…metaphorically shooting you?] I go on to tell the judge that Patrick has guns and he shoots guns (0:29). [editor’s note: Is there something you would do with a gun other than “shoot” it?] But wait, the hilarity doesn’t stop there – I say I am concerned that at any time Patrick can enter the United States “with his guns, that he shoots…” (0:55).

In a desperate attempt to help my claims, I point out that Patrick was arrested last summer for criminal harassment (3:13). Though, of course, I didn’t mention that the charges were dismissed because the RCMP and the Canadian prosecutor believed I was full of shit.

And now, let’s see the results of a lifetime of chronic pot use:

That’s fucking classic! Was I high out of my mind at the hearing? Of course I was, I’m Desiree fucking Capuano, when am I not high out of my fucking mind?

Pay particular attention to how I actually get annoyed with the judge (0:35). And what the fuck was that random chuckle…out of the blue…for no apparent reason at all. God I love weed!

Still to Come…

There’s still a bunch more testimony from that hearing, including James’ mother, Wendy Pendleton; James questioning Patrick; James’ seemingly completely unrelated rant about copyright infringement; Patrick stating the reason he doesn’t put his name on this website is because he’s ashamed and embarrassed about having been involved with someone like me; Patrick pissing off the court buy pointing out the orders are unenforceable and meaningless in Canada and that he has not, and has no intention of surrendering his firearms. Hopefully, I’ll get around to that this week – there are some particularly amusing scenes with James.


One Response to Highlights from My Order of Protection Hearing

  1. mgumby says:

    Please keep posting this is great stuff the wording in which u use really brings u in than bam ur laughing ur ass off and figuring out the entire ordeal lol

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