I’ve Had My Husband Arrested…Again!

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I got an email from Patrick (yes, we’re still married) on the weekend, where he points out that James Pendleton, my current boyfriend that I just moved in with publicly claims to have “Top Secret Security” clearance and that if that’s true then James is in violation by cohabiting with me because of my drug use, involvement in criminal activities, my having been confined under court order to a psychiatric hospital, and…well, fuck it…you can read it yourself here.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Where does he get off threatening to get James in trouble. James didn’t do a fucking thing wrong – he’s the kindest, sweetest man I’ve ever known! Fuck Patrick and his stupid bullshit. Right?

Well, that’s fine. I’ll show him. I called the RCMP and filed a report of harassment. I told the RCMP that I was afraid for my safety because Patrick keeps emailing me and threatening me and that he’s got guns and I believe Patrick’s going to come down here and try to kill me. I was all crying and shit. It was priceless! One of my best performances. I’ve filed a request for a copy of all of the evidence in the report and when I get the audio recording of the call I’ll post it here for all of you to enjoy. Fuck, I’m good. I told the cops I was scared Patrick was going to send some of his dirty wetback friends to fuck me up (though I didn’t phrase it that way, obviously).

So, yesterday, the RCMP went to Patrick’s house and arrested him. Took the dumb bastard away in handcuffs. Fuck ’em! That’ll teach him to not mess with me. Now they’ll take away his firearms license and his precious fucking guns and he won’t be able to go to the range anymore. HA! Who’s your master now, bitch!?!?

Of course, it was all bullshit. Of course I’m not afraid for my safety. The stupid fucker’s way up there in Canada. I’m just pissed off that I refused to provide him the new address that I moved into with our son, even though I’m legally required to keep him informed of where our son’s living, but fuck him and fuck the law – yet somehow he already knew the address anyway. Probably had his fucking private investigator following me. Oh well. Lot of good it’s gonna do him now that he’s in jail.

Anyway, so what if James Pendleton is violating his Security Clearance by cohabiting with me. All that shit I did is in the past. And we love each other. And nothing can change that. So what if James loses his clearance. Big fucking deal. I’m living in a gorgeous, gated community, surrounded by white people. I have both my sons with me – even though one of them, our son, hates me and the other’s dumb as a fucking rock. But who cares about them? They’re just stupid fucking kids. They just get in the way and fuck up all your plans anyway. How the fuck am I supposed to spend time with James when I have these fucking kids around?

For those who are interested, it was on his Indeed resume, that James Pendleton was publicly declaring that he has Top Secret Security Clearance. When I got that email from Patrick I had James take down his resume, but don’t you worry, we got a copy right fucking here!


So, I found out this morning they didn’t do shit, those fucking Canadian cops. They just took Patrick down to the station, asked him his side of the story, then let him go!!! What the fuck is that? Didn’t even take his guns! He got up this morning and went to work just like nothing even happened! So what that Patrick is one of the calmest, most rational, level headed people you’ll ever meet. I lied through my teeth and even cried to make him look bad. What the fuck is wrong with people?

So now nothing happens to Patrick but James still loses his clearance…and probably his job? That’s not fucking fair! Oh well, I guess I should be used to it by now. My plans almost always backfire on me because I never bother to think them through or consider the potential consequences of my actions. I supposed I’m just a fucking moron!

FUCK! But what am I gonna do if James loses his job? I don’t want to have to go back to work with all those stupid wetbacks. I just want to stay home and get high. Why can’t anyone understand that? Is that so fucking bad? AAAHHH! I hate this fucking stupid life! Fuck them and fuck you and fuck it all!

Fuck it, I think I’ll just take away our son’s phone so Patrick can’t call him and I’ll just take off with the kids. What the fuck is Patrick gonna do? He’s stuck in Canada with all those stupid Eskimos and shit. It’s not like he can find me or anything. Maybe I’ll just sneak back to Tampa and hide out with my family. But what the fuck am I supposed to do with our son? You know the first chance he gets he’s gonna be calling Patrick. Ah, fuck him. I’ll dump with my mother or some shit. Never really liked that kid anyway – I just wanted custody of him so I could piss Patrick off.

Fucking Arizona sucks anyway. Just a bunch of fucking stupid rednecks and Mexicans. Why the hell have I stayed here so long?

Oh well, guess I’ll go smoke a bowl. That always makes everything “okay”. Later, cunt lickers!

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