I hear a lot of people who have known James, asking “How could he get involved with someone like me? He’s smarter than that. He knows better.”
Let us begin by agreeing on a few critical facts:
- Drug users will always prefer to be in relationships with other drug users – and preferably, users of the same drugs. This facilitates getting high together, sharing the experience. When a drug user is in a relationship with a non-drug user, the non-user will eventually get fed up with the behavior of the user and become a nag (from the perspective of the user). There are many cases where a drug user is in a relationship with a non-user – but in almost every one of those cases the drug use began (or became known) long after the relationship began, and the non-user has deluded themselves into believe they can “fix” the other person and things can go back to how they used to be.
- I am a drug user. I have been all my life. If you read some of the emails between Patrick and me, on this site, you will notice that one thing that evokes responses of hostility from me more than anything else is when he attempts to interfere with my ability to continue getting high.
Rational, reasonable, intelligent men do not get intimately involved with women who have chronic drug habits and the amount of baggage and drama I carry (e.g. multiple children from multiple men, multiple ex-husbands). It is irrefutable that we will bring that drama into their lives and the quality of their lives will gradually diminish into chaos.
Now that we agree on the above facts, let’s consider the following points.
Before becoming involved with me, James Pendleton:
- Actively participated in community events and local politics.
- Was able to acquire and maintain a Top Secret security clearance. This implies there is no history of drug use, criminal activity, or very poor judgement calls. Apparently, the federal government does not give top secret clearance to drug addicts or people who are in committed relationships with drug addicts.
- Exhibited a clear, progression in his career. He had graduated from ASU, then gone on to advance from Technical Support to Software Engineer to Product Manager. He was clearly taking his career seriously and putting the effort into it to get ahead.
- Purchased his current home, in Sahuarita. This shows some degree of commitment, stability and financial responsibility.
When I met James, at Apollo, he was not a drug user. He was not an unreliable flake. He would never have considered committing felonies – like perjury.
Now let’s consider where James is today:
- He has moved me, with all my baggage and drama, into his home. I, and my two bastard children, have taken over his environment. His house has 3 bedrooms – we share one; my two children take the other.
- I continue to get high – in the home – on a daily basis. My two main drugs of choice are pot (marijuana), meth and ecstasy. I love the smell of weed. I love it lingering in the house. Few people who don’t smoke weed find the smell tolerable – I mean, let’s face it, unless you’re an addict, the smell is disgusting.
- We all know I’m a slob. That’s no secret. The once clean and organized dwelling James had invested so much money into has become a neglected pig sty.
- His finances are diminishing. One of the common traits of women like me is that there is almost always some crisis, a never ending stream of emergencies that need to be addressed immediately. Part of that is due to my philosophy of doing nothing until the cookie crumbles and only then addressing the problem (a common characteristic of all drug addicts, actually).
- He is losing (or has lost) the respect of his peers and the community. The simple fact that he would make such an incredibly poor judgement as to merge his life with mine shows that his judgement cannot be trusted.
- On July 23, 2015 he committed perjury by knowingly making false statements in his declaration in support of his request for an Injunction Against Harassment against Patrick. See James’ declaration and my declaration .
So, given all of the facts above, any reasonable person can come to only one conclusion: since becoming involved with me James has increasingly been using drugs, and as a result, has increasingly allowed his life to slowly fall apart.
An intelligent, reasonable person would be able to see that their life has been steadily declining, and they would be able to see the connection between being with me and that decline. But I really am a master of manipulation and I have gotten this far by exploiting peoples’ guilt and consciences. I don’t do it deliberately. I don’t enter a relationship with the intention of ruining the person’s life. It’s just who I am and who I’ve always been. Also, drug use tends to blind a person to the realities of their situation.
A reasonable person would have the common sense not to get into a serious, committed relationship with people like me. But when your head is full of chemicals and pity, it’s often hard to be reasonable. Drug use almost always starts out casual. I joint here or a line there. Maybe just to try it once to see what all the fuss is about. But when you’re in a relationship with an addict, it never stops there. The addict will guilt you and manipulate you into doing it again. Then again. Gradually it becomes more and more regular, until it is part of the routine bonding that the two of your share.
James would never have been able to develop the reputation he had when we met, or been able to progress so well in his career, if he had been on drugs. Lucky for me, James is not thinking clearly and reasonably now.
Eventually, one of two things is going to happen, either his life will continue on the downward spiral until he hits the bottom – by that point he will have lost almost everything he’s worked so hard for; or, he’s going to realize what’s going on and quit before things get too messed up. If the latter happens, then he’ll have to get rid of the source of the problem (me). One cannot get off of drugs and put their life back together while staying in a committed relationship with an addict – it just doesn’t work.
So what is James supposed to do? Kick me and my two sons out? Put us on the street? We have no where else to go. I’ve burned all my bridges. Could he really be that heartless? Well, as for me, I’ve made my own bed – I’m an adult and have put myself in this position. Besides, there’s always another man waiting to step in and be the hero, to save the poor victimized girl that’s been taken advantage of. But what of my kids? Well, as for Sage Capuano, forget about it. His future is pretty much a write off anyway. The only environment he’s ever known is mine, so as far as he knows, this is normal, this is life. His future is destined to be one of drug use, abusive relationships, and probably jail. As for our son, well, we all know his father will always be there to make sure he’s okay. Of course, our son always has a warm, safe, stable place to go.
So what’s stopping James from ending this before he fucks up his life too much? As I said: I really am that good! James will have no idea how fucked up he’s gotten until it’s just too late and I’ve moved on to my next provider.