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Desiree Capuano & James Pendleton
250 E. Placita Lago Del Mago
Sahuarita, AZ     85629
Tel: 520-288-8200
desiree.capuano@gmail.com
japendletonjr@gmail.com

Don't be fooled by the list of folks on this page. They're not really my "friends". Truth is there are very few people left who don't hate me. It might be because I have an amazing ability to screw over anybody when it serves my interests, without any regard for how it might affect them.

The people in my life that have been decent don't generally hang around too long because they quickly realize what a horrible person I am and they move on. The people that have stayed in touch with me are usually the white trash, trailer park losers I grew up with. And that's probably because they're the same as I am.

You may notice, when this website was in the news in February 2016, of the, literally, thousands of people that posted comments on the various websites, supporting me, not one of them was a person who actually knew me personally!

Family

  • Teresa Hoffman, Desiree Capuano's mother

    Teresa Hoffman

    This is my mom. I learned everything I know about manipulating people and guilting them into doing what I want from Teresa. Thanks mom! Where would I be without you?

    This is the woman I have modeled my life after. Growing up, she never made me accept responsibility for anything I did and that no matter what I do I can always blame it on the men in my life. And now I pass those valuable lessons on to my own kids.

  • Donald Tomlin, Desiree Capuano's father

    Donald Tomlin

    My dad. According to the story I told Patrick, when I got pregnant in March 2000, this is the man that forced me to have an abortion, leaving me emotionally scarred for life. At least, that's what I told Patrick so he'd feel sorry for me.

  • Sage Capuano, Desiree Capuano's son

    Sage Capuano

    My second child. This is the kid I had with Michael Capuano, after I ditched my first son with Patrick.

    Sage grew up in a home with me and Michael regularly getting into serious fights which usually escalated to the point of us hitting each other and throwing things at each other so, obviously, Sage has "issues" with aggression and violence. There was this one time when Sage tried to choke another kid in his class at school.

    Yeah, we don't see much of a future for this crazy bastard, though it's not his fault - look at his parents. It's hard to grow up decent when both your parents are as fucked up as me and Michael.

  • James Pendleton, Desiree Capuano's current fiancé

    James Allen Pendleton, Jr.

    James Pendleton is my current fiancé. We live together in James' wonderful home in Sahuarita (near Tucson). We met when we were both working at Apollo Group. Sure, there were policies against banging your co-workers but fuck it - I'm not one to comply with company policies.

    James was a Technical Project Manager and has worked for such firms as Apollo Education Group, Tucson Embedded Systems, Raytheon Missile Systems, and American Traffic Solutions. James has Top Secret/SCI security clearance - which means he is able to tell me all kinds of juicy "national security" secrets while we're lying in bed at night. He graduated from Arizona State University with a BS in Computer Systems Engineering.

    It may tickle you to know that even though James Pendleton is engaged to a scheming, drug addict, who would sell her children for a bong hit, he is trusted with top secret national security information, and is put in charge of projects that are supposed keep our country safe from those evil people that would like to see us all burn in hell.

    James doesn't have much in the way of self esteem - which is why, when I gave him a taste of snatch he clung to it with fervor. Now the bitch supports me, my drug habits, and my two kids. What's more every day I drag him more and more into the drama and bullshit that is my life. But it's not my fault - it's just who I am.

  • Kristopher Lauchner, Desiree Capuano's previous fiancé

    Kristopher Lauchner

    My prior fiancé, before James, whom I also lived with with my two sons...while he was using meth and stealing assault rifles and passing counterfeit money and...until he was arrested on drugs and weapons charges and sent to prison for 8 years. But he really was a great role model for my sons. WHITE POWER!

    [Comment from the Editor: I, personally, am not racist and do not believe any race or ethnic group is superior to any other based on genetics or race. Any references to white supremacy on this website are the beliefs and opinions of Desiree and the long list of racist fools she's been engaged to over the years.]
  • Michael Capuano, Desiree Capuano's ex-husband

    Michael Richard Capuano

    My second husband. The one I abandoned my 18 month old son in Phoenix so I could run off to Florida to be with. The one I was with for 9 years. The one that was recently arrested for slapping his bitch around. The one I used to throw dishes at in front of my child.

  • Wendy Pendleton, Desiree Capuano's current fiancé's mother

    Wendy Mary Pendleton

    Wendy Pendleton is my fiance, James Pendleton's mother. She testified in James' favor at his Injunction Against Harassment hearing against Patrick, back in December 2016.

    As you can see from Wendy's sworn testimony at the hearing, she fully supports me and James being together. She obviously considers me a good person - otherwise she wouldn't want me to be with her son, right? Just something to keep in mind if you're considering doing business with Wendy.

    Wendy owns Express Employment Professionals, a staffing agency in Tucson, AZ.

Friends

  • Alli Paolone

  • Amanda LeDoux

  • Barbara Bird

  • Breanna Lantz

  • Carrie Ryan Davis

    Back in 2001, while I was with Patrick, we had moved back to LA from Phoenix. After a few weeks I told Patrick I was bored and lonely and I wished I had a friend in LA. Patrick then paid for Carrie's flight to LA and her accommodations. He even let her move in with us, rent free and supported her until he found out she was using drugs again. Then he told her she had to leave. He's such an asshole.

  • Chris Myers

  • Chris Rudhe

  • Dawn Burkhard-Foster

  • Faith Farrazano

  • Jenn Pickell Sorrell

  • Jeremy Krause

  • John Lagasse

  • Kristiana Illies

  • Kyle Boyd

  • Lynn Serio

  • Mary Sayers

  • Matthew Vincent

  • Melissa Jean

  • Morgan Gibb

  • Nikki Inglis

  • Nina Lindsey-Broyles

  • Paul Kendrick

  • Rhiannon Love Capuano

  • Robert Hurt

  • Samantha Trosvig

  • Summer Elisabeth Kluytman

  • Tracy Pickell

  • Vivianne LeDoux

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